“Surrender” – The Antidote To A “Bad Trip”

Here’s a new video I made. It’s based on a true story and was inspired from an intense experience with psilocybin mushrooms.

So there I was thinking I had poisoned myself. It was dark out and walking was difficult as my legs were like rubber and I felt clumsy.

It was like a 2nd wave. A few hours or maybe as many as 3 hours had passed by since I took them. I saw eucalyptus trees going up and down like a merry go round, but then I started to get this panicky feeling and my arm started to twitch.

I started feeling very sick and tried guzzling water and then throwing that up and I needed to lie down.

But where?

There I was in the Presidio walking home towards Chinatown and there was this big long stone wall that separates SF from the park.

There was this bright street lamp.

And I just had to lie down and sprawl out on this wall. To get grounded. My legs were twitching and I was freaking out. I kept saying surrender to myself like I learned in the video.

And there were these coyotes that were howling. And they got louder and louder. Then I started to think they might be howling at me.

So I said shut up and they stopped.


I think they thought I was dying.

It really was a near death experience, lol.

Probably looked like it as there I was sprawled out on my back on this stone wall with my arms hanging off to the side.


Staring up into the sky and this annoying street lamp.

Getting some spirally visuals and in another demention.

When I finally could get up off that wall I checked the clock and like 2-3 hours had gone by!

Crazy and this guy drives by and asked if I was alright.

Said yep, drank too much.

Then thought why didn’t I just tell him the truth?


About the video above

It also includes some sound samples from some of the things that I have been learning about psilocybin.

I made another video that I haven’t put together and posted yet that entails the details of this experience. This video touches on the things that saved me during what some might call a “bad trip”.

Those were words that I remembered from a video I saw with Dr. Rosalyn Watts talking about some of the psilocybin research being done.

“Surrender” is what saved me.

That helped turn a really dark moment where I “felt” like I was facing death to something very cathartic.

The full story…

Here is a video that’s 44 minutes long where I talk about the whole psilocybin experience.

Here are some of the sound samples used in the video above:

  • “It was pretty frightening cause I was fighting it. If you are out in the open ocean and you were to fall off your boat. You turn around and the boat’s gone and then pretty soon the water is gone and then you’re gone.
  • “Don’t fight it”
  • “Surrender. That’s the one word. Surrender.”
  • “Your ego is dissolving and it’s scary. It’s like a death.”
  • “There are no bad trips…”
  • “We are not just dumb beasts brought here to walk in one straight path our whole lives, we are here to fly.”

Those quotes are from the following videos:

I did the scratching with my turntables, the beatboxing and then put together the beats with my Mac.

I had some problems editing the video as it’s a really old Mac (2009). So there were a few things that I would have edited if I could have.

And I recently broke my video camera so also I had to make this with my phone camera which seems to be lower quality.

You may also find this video helpful if you want to avoid a “bad trip” or are having one.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE SCIENCE BEHIND PSILOCYBIN and why I started experimenting with it.

If you happen to find this article by search and are looking how to avoid a bad trip or survive one and aside from letting go and surrendering I’d say the following…

  • stay away from the city
  • stay away from people/strangers
  • be in nature
  • meditate
  • walk
  • lie down
  • breath
  • draw, play music or sing even

Personally I have found drawing to make me feel better. That was at least once.

I think being somewhere where you feel safe and comfortable is good to.

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